Your Friend Has More Money Than You Do. How Can Your Relationship Survive?

Business|Your Friend Has More Money Than You Do. How Can Your Relationship Survive?

Adult friendships aren’t easy to maintain. Busy schedules and competing demands interfere with making time for friends. And when money is involved, friendships can become even more complicated.

Simple activities, like going out to dinner or getting drinks, can quickly turn awkward. Bigger decisions, such as sharing an apartment or taking a joint vacation, are even more fraught, especially when one friend has deeper pockets than the other.

“Money brings up a lot,” said Aja Evans, a financial therapist and the author of “Feel-Good Finance.” “It brings up a fear of being misunderstood, rejected and judged.”

Financial disparities in friendships can create an unease where one shouldn’t exist, especially when people conflate their net worth with their self-worth.

“That’s why it’s so uncomfortable,” said Anna Goldfarb, the author of “Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections.” “You might be OK with your parents paying for something, but a friend paying for you can feel strange because the power dynamic will feel off.”

The relationship between power and money can also highlight broader social issues and disparities. “It can call attention to differences in privilege and issues with bias and discrimination,” said Ms. Evans, “and this may strain the friendship further.”